Posts by Pams girl

23

Ready for the big showdown!

by Pams girl in

thanks to all who have given me such support this past week, for your kind pms, and all your hints and tips for leaving..or slipping away.

hubby threw out all my wt and awake literature yesterday (going back to 1983, it was a lot!).

ive read so much, heared testamonials, done my research, taken on board your help and suggestions.

TBH, describing it as a showdown is how I feel about it. Im a non-confrontational person who lives with panic and anxiety everyday. This is me giving myself a bit of power, and telling myself I can do it. No biggy for anyone else, but massive for me. It still feels like Im going to the executioner, as thats how my brain is wired up. Im sure my anguish over it isnt comparible to the horror of others being in for years, but to me it feels just as bad, even though Ive only been a study for 6 years. I need to look at it as a fight to enable me to break free forever. I dont give a stuff if they think Im weak or whatever, just want it over and done with si I can start living my life.

23

Ready for the big showdown!

by Pams girl in

thanks to all who have given me such support this past week, for your kind pms, and all your hints and tips for leaving..or slipping away.

hubby threw out all my wt and awake literature yesterday (going back to 1983, it was a lot!).

ive read so much, heared testamonials, done my research, taken on board your help and suggestions.

Pams girl

Hahaha Hairyhegoat, funny as! Yes, Im in South Wales, although I lived in Coventry for 17 years, back in the Motherland now. Luckily, most of the JWs seem to live in 1 or 2 streets further up the valley, and Im on the other side up a hill.

I particularly liked the info I was sent yesterday, got so excited, I printed it off ready for the showdown.....cue the gunfighter music....

Those lot in Bethel are gonna get theirs I tell ya, wanting all the glory and worship thats not theirs......they will have to render an account......whoop whoop! Ive got some Madonna gear for a fancy dress party, I might whack that on when the sisters pay their little "bums on seats for the memorial" visit.................hahaha...

Whats your story with the jc letter etc?

Thanks NLW wife, cofty, publishing cult and black sheep x

23

Ready for the big showdown!

by Pams girl in

thanks to all who have given me such support this past week, for your kind pms, and all your hints and tips for leaving..or slipping away.

hubby threw out all my wt and awake literature yesterday (going back to 1983, it was a lot!).

ive read so much, heared testamonials, done my research, taken on board your help and suggestions.

Pams girl

Thanks to all who have given me such support this past week, for your kind PMs, and all your hints and tips for leaving..or slipping away. Hubby threw out all my WT and Awake literature yesterday (going back to 1983, it was a lot!)

Ive read so much, heared testamonials, done my research, taken on board your help and suggestions. I am ready for the big showdown. Soon, I will get a 2 sister call, inviting me to the KH for the Memorial. Well, the info Ive now got is going to knock em for six, and Im ready for the backlash when it comes. Im 100% sure that its Gods direction thats lead me here.....Im not afraid any more. Youve all helped me break away from the cycle of fear they perpetuate......THANK YOU!

Im looking forward to the hand made card my son will make me for Mothers Day and my hubbys birthday on Thursday, Im looking forward to nights out enjoying a few bevvies, and enjoying being friends with whom I choose....of seeing my kid in the Xmas play, of living my life without fear, of so many things......THANK YOU!

Ive got a long way to go, to find out where I belong. But I will find the way...I know I will. I will miss a few people, but Ive got so much living to catch up on, Im sure it wont be as horrible as I once imagined it would be. THANK YOU!

It makes so much sense to me now, how could I ever have put my life in the hands of 12 old gits in Bethel!!!

Wish me luck, I will let you know how I get on! Big deep breath Paula girl, youre jumping ship! THANKS ALL!

60

Jehovah's Witnesses Are NOT Under Mind Control

by PublishingCult in

how would you respond to the assertion that 7.2 million members of the jehovah's witness religion are not under any sort of mind control?.

the argument being that every one is responsible for their own actions and cannot blame the indoctrinator for what he says and does.

how could they possibly be under mind control?.

Pams girl

They told me to get rid of my gold and diamond cross without actually saying the words....they told me to get rid of my worldy friends without actually saying the words, they told me that my husband would not be with me in the new system without saying the words.....and so many more things.....but always said "Jehovah wouldnt want you to do this that or the other".....

They are mind control specialists. Paul MacKenna got nothing on them!

Hi all, Im new!

Paula x

38

Im a newbie, looking for courage to sever the ties with JWs...help?

by Pams girl in

jw
friends

hi, im paula from wales, uk.

ive been studying for 6 years with jws.

they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.

Pams girl

Have tried to send a few PMs, hope you get them x

38

Im a newbie, looking for courage to sever the ties with JWs...help?

by Pams girl in

jw
friends

hi, im paula from wales, uk.

ive been studying for 6 years with jws.

they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.

Pams girl

Hi guys, I want to thank each and every one of you for your support and care. Some posts made me laugh, some cry. Murray Smith, it would be great if you could send me the link about Mental health issues in the JW camp..thanks x

Well, yesterday, and without asking, my husband threw away ALL THE WATCHTOWER AND AWAKE MAGAZINES!!! I had stuff given to me going back to 1983, so you can imagine, it was a lot!! Think it was at least....45 brown plastic boxes full!! Oh well, they went down to the recycling tip....

Ive kept my bible, for now. Im still a spiritual person, and I do feel a bit lost, where do I fit in now? But Im confident that God will lead me in the right direction.

I listened to the link about an elder being disfellowshiped...wow...over 3 hrs of it...what an eye opener! Especially that the organisation was part of the UN while fighting for the rights of French witnesses, unbeliveable!!!! Im going to listen to the appeal hearing later today.

I still dont know how to send personal messages on here, but for Murray..if you could send me the info that would be great. Thanks also for the info on the FRANZ book, will take a look at that.

Your support and care has been a life saver, many many thanks guys x

38

Im a newbie, looking for courage to sever the ties with JWs...help?

by Pams girl in

jw
friends

hi, im paula from wales, uk.

ive been studying for 6 years with jws.

they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.

Pams girl

THANK YOU ALL!!!

I feel so much better already, like you really GET ME! Thanks for your help. Im feeling much lighter already! I feel like Im with people who I can be honest with, its such a relief, Ive lived with these feelings for so long.

Cant wait to tell hubby later. Hes going to be so relieved at last! Poor man, Ive put him and my little boy through so much.

Im so glad I didnt get Baptised now, and I was so close too. They wanted me to write to my local church where I was Christened 39 years ago, to get my name removed from the christening roll. "Get out of Babylon.."........I didnt do that either.

Thinking about it, I just attended my mates mums funeral, a devout JW for 40 years. They all threw flowers into the coffin. Also, they left messages in with the flowers addressed to the deceased lady...isnt that communication with the dead? They were addressed to her after all?? SOOOO MANY questions.....................thanks for putting up with me today. Its the first day of the rest of my life maybe..............................xxxxx Paula x

38

Im a newbie, looking for courage to sever the ties with JWs...help?

by Pams girl in

jw
friends

hi, im paula from wales, uk.

ive been studying for 6 years with jws.

they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.

Pams girl

Hi thanks again for your care. Im Paula by the way, Pam was my lovely mum.x

Im an ex-neurosurgical nurse. These days i do silk flowers (floristry) from home. My drinking is fine now. I take BP and cholesterol tabs. My panic is up a bit, but Im ususally well controlled. Ive already had lots of help for my agoraphobia. The JWs just dont understand though. They told me to pray for Jahs HS, but seeing as Im not better, they look at me with distain, like I havent tried hard enough.

Im grateful for any helps/hints and all your suggestions. Im quite cerebral, and after I lost my nursing career, I guess study with the JWs filled that gap for me. Im trying to add info to my date of birth and biography but cant see how to do it, and chance that profile pic. Can someone help?

I tried to post on technical help, but Im only allowed one post a day. Told you I was rubbish at this stuff!

Thanks all, Paula x

38

Im a newbie, looking for courage to sever the ties with JWs...help?

by Pams girl in

jw
friends

hi, im paula from wales, uk.

ive been studying for 6 years with jws.

they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.

Pams girl

Thanks all for the warm welcome, I cant begin to tell you what it means that I can tell the truth without fear. I didnt get baptised, no.

Im actually sitting here, crying. Im starting to remember all the things I did while involved with them. The worst one is they made me get rid of the beautiful diamond and gold cross that my hubby got me for our wedding in 2000. He doesnt even know I havent got it.

Also, I will never forget the look on my little boys face when I told him we wouldnt be with his daddy in the new earth as he didnt believe. Poor kid broke down. Oh Im so ashamed.

I am starting to read things on here, and I have to tell you Im rubbish using forums etc, Im still finding my feet, so forgive my mistakes.

I will keep my head down for now with the JWs. I will continue to read up and research the posts on here. Thank God I found you.

The memorial is coming up. Im due a visit soon from someone, got to get bums on seats!! I will simply tell the truth..I cant very well go into Gods house when Im tranquilized can I? Be disrespectful to God. (I take anti-histamines to help with anxiety, they make me a bit drowsy).

Im sure this is all a bit mild compared to some stories, and Im sure youve heared it all before. Is is ok to still use my bible? I guess not, as it was written by men withouth credentials. Oh Im so confused. I dont know where to start, so many questions. Do I continue on this thread with my questions etc? Think I would get confused otherwise. Thank you all once again for finding the time to reply to me. Best wishes, Paula.x

38

Im a newbie, looking for courage to sever the ties with JWs...help?

by Pams girl in

jw
friends

hi, im paula from wales, uk.

ive been studying for 6 years with jws.

they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.

Pams girl

Hi, Im Paula from Wales, UK. Ive been studying for 6 years with JWs. They came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, I was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....I felt they helped me, cured me if you like. I enjoyed the friendship, and attended meetings, lost my worldly friends, stopped drinking, got my act together etc. However, the bottom line is that due to agoraphobia and panic attacks, I simply couldnt go out on the ministry. This was the beginning of the problem.

They encouraged me to study with my 7 year old son, as my hubby wasnt interested. Things kinda plodded on for a few years, I went to meetings and assemblies when I could, and always attended the memorial. Things came to a head 2 years ago. My mother was in intensive care dying, and I left her to attend the assembly (July 2009). God forgive me. I hope she does too.....Im so sorry mum.

I began drinking again, but hid it well. I asked the girl I study with for a bible for my son, the kids bible. She informed me that basically, unless I regularly attended meetings etc, they would not give me a bible for him! I couldnt believe what I was hearing! Hypocrites!! They told me it was my responsibility to "Train him up..", yet basically tried to blackmail me. That was the beginning of the end. I learned that they couldnt care less about my agoraphobia, they just wanted bums on seats. I questioned them about breastfeeding, as breast milk contains leukocytes...thats right...WHITE BLOOD CELLS....they didnt like that one bit. People stopped calling, and I stopped going to meetings .I dont study anymore, as my friend said shed taught me all she knew, and it was now up to me, but we are still friends, and I see her ocassionally. They have sucessfully isolated me from everyone else.

Heres the info I have. How do I tell my friend? Im afraid of shunning. Im afraid Im going to get so angry that I post these facts all around the village where I live......here they are......

I know of an elder and his wife who distribute the betterware catalogue at Christmas, promoting gifts.

I know of a sister who is addicted to pain medication

I know of a brother who smokes dope

I know of a sister who has over 150 worldy friends on facebook, one of them in a santa suit!

I know of a sister who gives her kids xmas gifts on boxing day "so her kids dont feel left out"...left out of what? Pagan xmas??? Theres a few more, but Ive gone on too long already. In the beginning they said "WE LOVE YOU ANYWAY" now its 2WE ONLY LOVE YOU IF.......".....its upsetting me and I keep trying to get the courage up to come clean. Of course, nobody will believe me, and I will be labelled a trouble maker etc, and shunned...its really making my anxiety and panic hit the roof. The last 3 times I saw my friend I was so close to telling her, I just can bring myself to do it, and she just lost her mum, so timing not good. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME??? Thank you so much xxxx